Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Cp's got a lot of thoughts today.
Actually, thoughts collected over a few 48 hours.
I'm still not sure whats truly determines the outcome of situations that you have really no control of. I hate it when things come to a game of luck. Whether you end up with unfortunate disabilities, being borned in Singapore, or get to know the people you are with now. And you can play the questions of "What Ifs" too. What if you did not chose to be in this school, then who else will you be with now? What if you have never met this particular person, will your life be the same? What if I hadn't been introduced to ________, will I still be where I am now? What if your mother becomes your father, will your father still be a father or something else?
But personally I really don't believe in God or Fate. No offences. But I think things that happen, happens for a reason. Usually the outcome of most things is your actions and reactions that you do. Like if you fail your test, its because you never listened/studied/bothered. Like if you managed to set a new personal record of your strength to rise your body up against the forces of a metal bar and gravity, it is the result of your hardwork. If you and your girlfriend break up, it is because of your inability to handle or keep a good relationship (or maybe because you just suck). BUT, I'm talking about things you have no control of. Like the reaction of your friends, the kind of disabilities one person might suffer from young, or the kind of life that you are being brought up in. What controls them? Or if it is a game of luck, can luck be controlled?
From my lessons, don't fucking gamble, you will never win 4D, NEVER. Forget about calculating those probabilities, no point, because whatever it is, it is still 0%. Even if you strike once, the money spent before it is probably way more then the money you have won. So no point. Thing is, everytime when you don't buy, the number comes out. Like a bitch. So might as well don't buy.
Quit while you are ahead. During Chinese New Year, I played blackjack. Started with a capital of $10, peaking at $22, ended up with $4. WHY DID I NOT QUIT THE GAME. Seriously, cocks happens when you are too arrogant or too greedy. You will be happy with however small the amount you won. Or best. Don't even gamble.
I just hate luck. It is so risky. Why can't things be a definite. Why can't all the outcomes of situations be decided by us, why must it be something that we don't know be the one determining our future. Or, is luck controllable? Is luck a skill, or something that can manipulated with deeper understanding?
I also nicely symphatize with the nice people who are nicely just so nice, so nice that they nicely can't stop being nice not matter how un-nice the un-nice situations can un-nicely be. Seyesly. What do they get back in return? How are blessings made true? Usually if you help a stranger (which will never happen), the very least thing they could do is say "Thank you 'nice' guy, may you be blessed with eternal peace!", and your reply should be "Oh really?" (remember this is an example) because where will the blessing come from? I think most nice people are taken advantaged of, or just enjoy spending their time on helping others but with nothing coming back in return. But this is a rare bunch of people, so I give my fullest respect to them.
I admit. I've stole things, I've done 'sinful' stuffs, I've annoyed/disappointed/hurt people. Sure I have my reasons doing that but whatever reasons it is, once it is 'sinful', it is bad. So, what is gonna happen to me. Sure if I get caught redhanded or traced of my steps, things will get bad. But what is theres no way to be catch me? Will I get away scot-free, or will there be 'retribution'? Does retribution exist? Will I eventually pay the price of what I've done indirectly? I'm guilty, sometimes even have sleepless nights, sometimes even have bad thoughts and eerie feelings. I know it is wrong. But would that be enough of a 'punishment'? Can the realization of your mistake and remorse be enough for one to not repeat the same thing again?'
I'm still thinking what led to the life I'm living right now. How every one of the hundreds and millions of people have to live all so different life. What made me faced all my life obstacles and let me living with this family, and this many sets of a friends I have, the places I'm living in. What made life like this? Will there be a statement of how well you done in life in your afterlife?
These are the wonders of life. Sometimes life throws to you thoughts that you can only make you think so deeply, but no matter how deep and philosophical you go into, you'll only end up knowing that the answers you've come up with are merely hypothetical and will never be proven.
That is, what this post is about.
Joke.
This post is just random rubbish arranged so nicely that people think I could be serious for once.