Wednesday, June 24, 2009
emo emo emo.
30 hours of motivational workshop. compulsory? damn it. got to be yet another time waster. could've been outside training, or what. but
no, it was well worth, in fact i wanted more. if it's not for this, probably i would have spending the 30hours facebooking, youtubing, slacking the day away with no meaningful purposes. so what's there to lose, now that i think of it. its always the negativity and thoughts of how boring it would be in the first place that makes us dread so much about it. same goes for my vietnam trip, and sec2 camp. luckily i went, or i'll lose out so much.
its not a
motivational workshop by any means i guess, but just some kind of life-learning workshop. there're full of real stories (hopefully), and the coaches can speak on and on. thats what made this workshop really fun. it's cool to know and understand the stuffs that life had thrown to them, and how the got on with it. deep, true and touching stories. imagine two of your best friends commit suicide, and to know that you got a real friend.
we're 16. no longer young anymore. old enough to think for ourselves, and could decide how you would respond to a given scenario. and if we think we have so much time to dislike or to hate a person, its probably time to wake up, and realise the immaturity, stupidity and pointlessness in it. granted, i had such cases before, but i am not too shy to voice it out. salleha, jaron (and whoever else that i had offended). if you ever even read my dull blog, you would probably know what i am talking about, the things that happened in the past. sorry for whatever that happened.
it had to be it. 4 more months, a tough battle ahead. and if we are truly bonded, we should 'slay the giant monster' together. its obvious to note, our class isn't very united, knowing that half of the class did not turn up for the science centre outing, and the usual clique-ishness our class have. 4 years of secondary school life, and it all boils down to the much dreaded o's. we had lasted this far, made our way all the way here, surely we don't want all our efforts built up in the past years to go into waste. and we don't want to live anyone behind. the feeling absolutely sucks. finally got to talk to some of classmates i never used to talked to, and now i'm socialising as much as i can. this is the last 4 months, so we should cherish the times together, hard. we don't want to have any regrets.
the last day (today) of the workshop was probably the most motivated one. first part i felt rather happy, as i've talked to the class by myself. last part had me to tears. tried to held them back, but its just too hard. i am emotional, when emotions build up, there's the tendency i'll let go. don't like it. but i dont go into depression or stress or whatever. too bad i dont have the courage to go up there to speak, and i probably can't, tears will just fall endlessly. admire the mental strength of hoeyin, kaiyi, and all that went up.
thats the several things that my mind got intrigued by.
some changes to be had. and it should be started, immediately. time, as you've heard time and again, is running out.
finally a long post i've written here, right?