Friday, July 03, 2009
dear me,
looking back, i cant believe how i get to where i am now.
we all had times that we felt so pissed as we screwed something up, did a (deadly) mistake, or just something that you really wouldnt have wanted to happen, you just want to rewind. rewind that shit. "IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK TIME.."
but knowing that "what's done is done", you got no choice but to "let bygones be bygones" and "learn from your mistakes". its a recurring trend. if we could just rewind with a click of a button, i tell you, who wouldnt. from birth to current, we make mistakes. but we must learn from them, act upon them. as life is always moving forward, its irreversible. whats more, the 'mistakes' you made might actually lead you to the better.
+ positively,
i never had real outside friends. mostly school friends. but i discovered otherwise when i tried new things. and up to now, the friends i met in jams, have influenced me so much. opened up a new sector in my life. to know everyone from the different walks of life, united because one thing. and my social life deepens... thank you pksg. i would not ever not enjoy each saturday's jam session. it always have been fun, fun and fun. and more fun. in 10 days time, jam's just gonna be so damn awesome.
- negatively,
my problem is that i keep repeating the same mistakes. addiction -> temptation -> habit.
maybe i stop. when i feel really guilty. and then i say, hey ive done enough studying, hey ive stopped for quite some time. maybe its ok to use awhile. then the whole cycle repeats again. sounds so much like smoking. but relax it isnt. i just cant afford to settle for less. more more more studying. less less less playing.
all my words sounds ever so contradictory. and stupid. and pointless.
and sidetracking,
continuing from the game of words.
i dont want to blame anyone. maybe its my fault, just that i dont know or dont realise. but it has to work both ways. and then, it could be just overinterpretation. there's nothing to be afraid of, but everything takes time isnt it. "slowly, but surely".
trying my best to be an individual that would like to be with. hopefully what's ahead is smooth sailing. i also might want to perform for this years teachers day concert. if i got time, and if i got it on time. just once for the last.
thoughts flooding my mind again.
i bet nothing of these make sense.
only dollars.
and, fuck you comp.
bongbong.