Thursday, August 20, 2009
i achieved the impossible. for once i thought there's no way up this mountain, its just far too high to even think of ascending it. but it's conquered now. one down, six to go. and that is all the matters, for now i could finally say, without guilt or doubt, that its all over. i've passed my chinese. achievement unlocked. this feeling of accomplishment is beyond measure, no longer do i have to face six lessons of dread a week.
that being said. i shall place more focus the remaining topics, as thats the only language which i still have hope for, and since my chinese is horrendous, it is highly important to compensate that by strengthening my english language. starting on o level's english oral. tomorrows the start of prelims. let's get this over and done with - well. this shall be the starting point of the big Os. september and october is the months to go all out, full swing, to get the best grades possible out of the six subjects left. although it doesn't really affect much... i already accepted the dpa offer. hahaha.
let's see, being an 'I' personality person, my 'biggest fear' is rejection. well to be honest nobody likes rejection, obviously. so to be faced with such, disappointment is inevitable. but as the saying goes, "don't cry over spilled milk," much to the relation of the fact that brooding over rejection is pointless. regret nothing, no i don't regret anything. i have at least tried, attempted, and taken the very first steps, and that's enough to soothe myself. people never even had the chance, or the guts if that fits right. maybe, its just infatuations and the usual daisies of relationship nowadays. what's more, i might not be even prepared, and its just the wrong timing. my mind's exhausted, it doesn't help to burden it even more. i wonder why would i think of stuffs like these and when it gets ironed out, i'll feel foolish. am i?
but the problem now lies if things can readjust back to normal.
i'm in a guilty lot of those people who just like making trouble out of nothing. it might seems funny for awhile, or a way to attract attention before their friends, but trying to 'bastard' people like even a passing remark or a hand action does leave a certain imprint into someone's mind, and it just ruin their mood. until one realizes that its, as with many things, pointless to care so much about the niggling, trivial, unimportant matters. no point letting them succeed in their aims. seeing you all chagrined to their delight. for what? i question. as with many things in life. i shall reserve my attention to things that requires my attention.
whatever. /rant