Wednesday, October 07, 2009
alright..
what a big hoo-ha over insignificantly minor situations these days, but its all these bits and pieces that spices up everyday. a bit pointless to get so fed up with stupid remarks by stupid people, as they are too insignificant to make any significance to your life, but it is only when you let them annoy you, its where you make them feel more significant then what they are. for what?
to put it in words, no problem. but to actually feel apathetic to these, not easy. truthfully i gotten myself so frustrated over such nonsense, little passing remarks aiming to put you down, for whatever reasons i don't know. plenty a times i see myself trying to get somebody, anybody that is willing to listening my silly silly rants, major percentage of those are people who just got nothing to do but to want to be the popular lot amongst their friends, and to achieve it despicably by invoking humour from insults. funny they might think, but what's really funnier the way we react, how angry we get ourselves to be, and how bad a losing situation we got ourselves into. and when my mind's finding something more worthy enough to fulfill the empty void, those abhorrent scenes replayed on a looped sequence, and here i go trying to figure witty comebacks to get back on them, but like those people who say the most, i did nothing to salvage anything.
on a brighter side, less then 10 days time they'll be off my nerves, and hopefully never ever to meet them again. so why get so affected.
admittedly im mentally timid, but i know i can deliver so much more then i can, just my mind put myself down ever so often. for what feel scared, for what let yourself be in the losing end, and then feeling so angered and regretting that you had not reacted the way you could've. all due to the lack of standing up for yourself, when its time to do so. letting people step all over you, the laughing stock, the mockery...
split second answers and on the spot comebacks is a handy dandy tool.
on the other hand, i dont know maybe this last week might be the most important week... final chances now, study hard, cherish times, no time to care about those foofarays. this post could be a practice for my compo, needing practice in english and history and ss now. still striving towards solid A1s. complacency refrained.
future.. looks so tasty. jobs with super pays, all doing the things i enjoy, poly, making my own mini movies, training, performing, overseas trips all in 2010, where the burden and sense of guilt will all be lifted. can't wait for 11/11...
so much opportunities lies ahead, making me think that there's no need for rewinding... all these years, no matter harsh life was, no matter the stupid little mistakes i've done, moments of folly. life should be lived forward, there shouldn't be any regrets, everything that came to be made you who you are now... this is life. thinking back really, actually nowadays my life's so much enjoyable, many friends making my day... why must negativity always outweigh positivity, no matter how small a matter is... the importance lies on positivity, but we keep forgetting it, our focus is usually one-sided - to the negative side.
anyway...
improvements quite manifestly seen, restored belief and hope, confidence boost for some.
let's be realistic. let's throw away those wishful delusions - the chances are slim. all these thoughts are mirages, presumably. still, people claims you'll can never be fully certain until you try...
fucking hell do i think alot.