Sunday, December 27, 2009
this computer sucks. internet speed cannot get any suckier.
been doing ALOT this holidays, well, training, staying at home, spend hours on the computer, started editing abit, eating like hell. ALOT. really.
meh. bored to death is the phrase to use.
repetitiveness kills. humans are not meant to live without variety. what's the point really, when it's aim is to experience everything.
music hunting don't seem very good nowadays, only ended up with 2 good songs out of like 50.
training also - haven't been on form since monday, tired legs and ineffective trainings, low value of enjoyment, what a waste of time then. life without purpose. missing puzzle pieces of my jigsaw.
BUT... ytd's jam was quite awesome, i won't say its the best jam i've had, because qayyim may jam is still unbeatable. maybe ytd was about the vibe, christmas in the city kind of thing, but not really of the training and the camaraderie. you know i still believe within the clique there are cliques. still some internal conflict, still some unfriendliness and unfamiliarity. maybe i'm overgeneralising, maybe its just one or two of them, maybe i'm biased. but that's the feeling i have.
tmr (rather today), friends are coming my house for another session of mahjong. haha. liverpool finally won. i'm blogging basically the same thing everyday. sleeping at 4am. monday will be watching avatar and having dinner, its ashton's birthday. maybe i can end the year on a high note, despite the ups and downs of this year. but i do believe everything evens out in the end. you can't really enjoy yourself when you don't know what is it like to be suffer the hardships of life. 13th jan's approaching, poly's approaching, ns' is coming closer... hectic life? i suppose.
i'm scared of the fragility of friendship. sometimes. once you screw things up, its free-fall. and its hard to get back where you once were. unless both are committed with enough time. you can judge its strength short-term. length shows so much, but the ability to resolve conflicts is testament to the strength of friendship. i wonder how people get to trust people so easily. think you are so close in such a short time.
i shall absorb what is useful to me, reject what is not. forget about niggling things that bothers you, and appreciate the treasures around you more.