Friday, March 11, 2011
hello 'readers'.
so apparently i'm spammed with thoughts from today's endeavour. so i shall list them down instead of flooding twitter.
hmmm yeah so it's technically day 4. tomorrow i will wake up and head to bishan and train. and after that i'll meet her already. that's fast actually. i guess the painfulness comes in the initial stage where you can't believe you won't be seeing her for the next few days. but come day 2, she occupies your mind less, and day 3 you'll be already accepting the fact, and is being used to it. so to me 4 days ain't thattttttt hard. i wanna try 15 days hahahahahaha. i still think london 2011 is on. and oh a bangkok trip end of this march? i wonder how things will work out, everyone are bloody procrastinating bastards that just drop in an idea and let it lie around just waiting for something to be done. sometimes i don't know how a person can be so hardworking, because you knowing me as the sloth i always am, it takes a painstaking amount of energy to actually work on things. DAMN DAMN lazy. but i must change that. and i still wanna go aussie end of this year. that calls for SO MUCH MORE MONEY. ARGH
talking about money. i'm gonna be spending like 1.8k (or less) getting my new dslr + lenses tomorrow. canon 550d should be the one. i shall make sure i'll use it to the fullest. i hope i don't regret a shit, been asking around and researching. it's $999 for its body. it's the cheapest and worthiest compared to the others. and i shall stick to this and really make good videos, and experiment the fuck out of it. cp needs to stick to his filmmaking ambitions. wtf is he doing now? no signs of any progress. hv30 is tooooo inconvenient, there's always a need for change. what should i do with that camcorder now? argh it's still a birthday present.
and the vans red high cut shoe. i don't know really. seems hard to find out suiting pair. what's more i wonder if i can pull off the look. i need a 3/4 pants too. when it comes to spending money i always will have this tinge of regret. i don't know why but i think it is somehow good cause it goes to show you didn't buy it out of impulse. and my hair. i want to laugh sia. zzzzzz
i'm waiting for the day i finally grow. like wtf man how long has it been already. since sec 2, or maybe even p6, people have been telling me you'll still have chance to grow. damn it i want 170cm. i don't believe this is late puberty. i need to re-start stretching everyday before sleeping again. damn thanks to my laziness (and since i stopped gym) i've started to stop my habit of stretching before you sleep. DAMN IT. but drinking a glass of milk for breakfast and sleep, still didn't get me anywhere. and ezcema going away with age? fuckoff. you'll know what will solve all these? getting an appointment with a proper doctor that will tell me the truth about my body. i'm getting sick of false hopes. all kinds of false hopes.
let's face it honestly, one can tell if oneself is ugly or not. and i know my answer. i want braces. yes i am low with confidence. and apparently not just in self-esteem, but with twisting and being able to speak well towards/in front of people (or just generally public speaking) what's with stammering being interviewed by a FRIEND over a topic that i should be well-versed in, and during class presentations? i kinda feel damn sucky. i need to improve in so many things. like seriously.
so pool and bowling outing with the ba kids. damn do i suck in both as well. yet another two areas to work on. especially on the latter. bowling is bloody fun, but it sucks to know that you can't score an average of 100. and pool, what is with my accuracy. i need more practice. am i taking things a little too seriously? not really, i guess. i still had alot of fun today, and i wanna learn how to play pool and bowling properly. what else on my list? being able to swim well (and fucking tread water), and the basics of dance from nra (lost it already! the wave, isolation, and that sharpness in movements), being able to skate well (without fucking falling all the time, and turning with confidence). that's another two things in my list - a better bike, a personal rollerskate (HINTHINT CAMERA DOLLY OH YEAH). oh of course topping the list - to BE ABLE TO TWISTTT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. mardafarka.
guess what i have from tomorrow onwards?
training at bishan and meeting her later at night!
sat - uss with my dardar hehehehe
sun - shoot with ama (and prob training earlier)
mon - meeting ky and kk at night!
tues - dpa and cul outing to sentosa!
wed - meeting up with kris and jiayi
thurs - nothing on yet, probably going out with dardarrrr hahaha K
fri - joel's 18th
sat - i'm expecting a pk jam?
and what happens the week after? back to hardcore work. 4 weeks to catch up on my money spent. aiming to get at least $300 (or as much as possible) for march and just under $500 for april. i'm very lazy to work though... but i have to. everyone is leaving rws and i'm gonna be solo-ing. maybe i should find something different for a job. change can be a good thing. well i'll see. i still need loads of $$$ to last me throughout so i'm definitely still gonna go for work during school term. damn... 8 weeks of holidays seriously not enough. i thought i could use to spend time with her... but hey end of this march there'll be the epic trace jam to look forward to. not that bad afterall eh!
indeed the previous blogpost was just 'a phase', whatever i'd call it. i guess sometimes your mind will get cluttered up over one issue, when all you need is some rest to realise whatever you were thinking was just. nonsense. and you'll figure it all out - which i did - i think acceptance is everything. not just accepting others, but yourself as well. stop it with comparisons and stress, cp. everyone has their differences.
like you will understand anything.
i need to let loose. nowadays i just think i'm too tensed up. let's just focus on having fun, and let things fall into pieces themselves. TAKE A ChillPill, CP. ^^