Sunday, July 13, 2014
1 year 10 months sure is a long time. But poof, guess what? 11 months just flew past, 50% completed, and now it's only the 'future' in almost within reach.
Remember back then in secondary school, we only had 30 minutes for recess. But we got so many things done in it - running down to the canteen, queueing up, buying food, eating, and then a good 15minutes of soccer before heading back to the class all sweaty, but satisfied. In poly and army, we had like 2 hours of break time and that's pretty normal - however it definitely didn't feel like we got much done in the 2 hours, in contrast to what we did in 30 minutes back then.
It's weird how our sense of time passing completely changes as we grew older. 6 years of primary school was a pretty damn long time. 4 years of secondary school was about the same... that's when we remember most of our life events. 3 years of poly was so fast. Too damn fast. 2 years of national service? It gonna be even faster... I swear.
"Don't worry dude, I still haven't finish NS... I still have one year++ to think about my future."
If you think you still have time to think about what you wanna do in the future... please know that you're wrong... sorry.
I mean sure I would love to ORD and I can't wait to finally become a civilian again, but hell, I'm not ready for my future, not ready for adulthood and responsibilities, not ready for what's real.
I'm not gonna lie, but the future is pretty damn scary - I recall some of my nights in the bunk were always thinking about what lies ahead after June 2015.
I'm always thinking about travelling, doing what I love and enjoying, but fuck I forgot that I've already lost 2 years because born a Singaporean male, and I'm getting really old thus I wouldn't have the luxury of taking a gap (half) year to satisfy my wants - that's because the next University window starts July 2015 (subsequent window is Jan 2016)... I only have a mere two weeks to rest before it's back to routine again. Overseas, of course... but still.
University aside, there's more to the future that is really fucking shit.
I know we all complained about turning to a teenager sucks and tough and pressurising and shit, O' Levels were a bitch and we all developed a certain thing called 'feelings'... but trust me when I say I rather do all that then shoulder the responsibility of being an adult in societal terms.
Can you imagine being a 28 years old still fake-tapping, trying to get away with petty 'crimes' and just creating the typical shenanigans of a teenager? Oh how the society will frown upon: 'Dude, you're so old you ought to get a grip of yourself!!'
Everything that used to be given to you is no longer given to you. You gotta work for what you eat, what you want, basically everything... You can't laze around anymore, slacking away your holidays guilt-free like you would back in those days. All the time you have is no longer yours - you owe it to someone... work/family/girlfriend/you name it. I can go on, but really I'm pretty sure everyone of you going through this phase of life can pretty much understand how I feel... or maybe it haven't hit you yet?
The pressure is real.
The transition from teenager to adulthood.
Life never stops doing this... throws shit at you and you HAVE to take it.
Or maybe, I'm just mindlessly freaking out.