Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Had the chance to work with a team of professionals in KL for a Prudential SEA Games commercial, really happy to put my hard work into actual practice. High production value, high budget TVC, felt damn privileged to live the high life for a few days, getting everything for free, even had an hotel stay. Of course I got a pretty decent pay from it all. Worth it af.
Met with a couple of fuckups though, as with everything else. Lost my gimbal that I got for free from Snoppa Go, thanks to my dumb carelessness... Not sure how I will have to settle this. More retardedly, slipped and fell and had a scar just right above my eye, had to go to the hospital and nonsense, really dumb accident but shit happens eh.
The shoot also brought to light a certain few things that I have to work on, after many years there are always things that can be improved on, there's really so much more I feel that I should be better in. I guess maybe it's not too late - going to list down a bunch of stuff that are actually really important life skills in my line of work which I feel I could've better worked on when I was younger.
- Fighting skills (and the film aspect of it)
- Acting and performance
- Better photogenic-ness, confident with speaking to the camera/public
- Charisma (pretty much links to the two points above)
- Swimming (still working on this)
- Dance (being less fucking rigid!!!)
- Languages, goddamnit
Other various things I feel that I wanna be better in:
- Trampolining/Tramp Wall Running
- Handbalancing
- Flexibility
- Graphic Designing, Illustrator, Next Level Photoshopping (just being good in art in general, lol)
- Physio, Sports Massaging and those kind of things
- Coaching skills?
- Being really good and strong in Rockclimbing? Maybe in the future.
- I guess having a gymnastic background when younger would be ideal
That was a random list.
In other news, I have a few stuff in the plans. Biggest news is that I'm being invited to Beast Coast for the end of next month! That sucky thing is that it clashes with the China Redbull Competition, which is such a tough call, but a free trip to the US both ways is just too hard to turn down! I hope it's a good move on my side. I definitely want to expose myself to coaching really quality classes and having unique workshops of my own. That is something that can be pretty lucrative as I market myself more in the future. I'm going to test out a Dive Roll workshop in Singapore, hoping that I can get more people to come down to my first paid workshop. See how I can market myself. Gotta first plan the whole thing though.
I'll probably be travelling from 25th to 7th June, doing as many workshops I can as I travel up along the East Coast (Washington DC, Philadephia, NYC, Boston!). Would be amazing to meet people and learn about their gym businesses, and their classes. Of course, experience the Eastern America culture amongst it all! First time in the States. Would be interesting for sure!
Now that I'm back, I feel that it's time for me to start shooting more shit. Recently got more inspired again after watching some of the works of Reservoir (the Malaysian production house that I was working with that works with all the main ads such as Petronas, etc.). I feel like I have to reserve the 30 days challenge to some other period in my life when I can fully commit. I gotta focus on my descents video, AOM Submission, Simei Training 4, LCG Documentary, before I leave for America in end of July.
Sent out emails to Etrefort, Redbull, DJI as I was feeling a little bit more productive, hopefully I can get support from people. But definitely still feeling shit from losing that Gimbal.
Also received my 50mm lens after getting my Pentax MX. Upon trying to attach my lens to the camera, I realized that it doesn't quite fit. Fuck. I made sure I tested everything out on the camera to make sure I don't get scammed, but it turns out it still require a repair. Spent another $120 on top a $150 camera, including that lens, it set me back a good 400 bucks. That's pretty hefty considering I just wanted to a vintage camera... Fuck it though. I finally have a film camera. Can't wait to develop my first roll of film.
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Love is a drug. Once experienced, life without it will always pale in comparison. We always crave for all the amazing feeling associated with the drugs. The sober (aka single) life just don't quite match. Still on the road of recovery. Withdrawals aplenty. Oh well.
I went down to the performance for one last time. Deep down, I felt that I have to do it, although I know it's ultimately pointless. I realize sometimes we do things even when we're not sure why, but there's this nagging feeling that might take over if you don't do it. I guess I thought it may have mattered. It didn't. But, I kept my word, if that's the only thing that made me feel better. It's no longer the same. I'm just an extra audience member.
People are capable of moving on. Twice in my life I faced the exact same thing. The hardest thing is to deal with the fact that the person you hold so dear just a mere few months ago have become a completely changed person. The worst is, there is no point saying how you truly feel because the other party has already made up their decision, and anything you do will just further worsen whatever that's left. You finally come to terms and started accepting that the love has faded, and they found someone else, so you start settling for less. Then you realize, you can't even have 'less'. They don't care no more. Things will never be the same anymore. You are at a loss, because you loved more. The only way to fix it is to let EVERYTHING go.
I keep thinking to myself why I end up in this situation, but the reality is that people are capable of such. People are selfish. I wonder when will I finally find someone who wouldn't disappoint. Who actually mean what they say. Who can accept me for who I am. Who is willing to go down the road with me irregardless. The time has yet to come.
Love is a drug. This is the period of rehab. It's not easy, but I will get by. One day, I'll be okay.