Life is great.
And then it isn't.
If you noticed the trends from my secondary school rantings till now (especially on Twitter), it was always about not enjoying the kind of pressure-cooker life here in Singapore. Many years of trying to fight the system, getting fed up, but ultimately, what choice do we have?
30 years now, you'd think we would have moved on from it.
Yes, for the most part.
After Melbourne life, it was all about trying to make it work here.
Which I did.
There's a lot to be happy about to get to where I am now. People would've been dreaming of the kind of life I am living. And indeed, I feel like I should be proud.
Should be.
Fretting over the potential costs of owning a house, running a family, dreams of running a gym, etc. - of course I'd fret. We are all familiar with this hustle. And we're conditioned to take it. Honestly, despite some hiccups, I do feel like I have come to terms with it all. Committed. All in. No more backing out.
What's scary is whenever you get triggered so hard that you zoom out, have your mind wander to this dark place, the questions start coming in and you are like, what got me here in the first place? Do I really like whatever I'm doing? Do I want to keep doing it?
And the further you go into that deep end, the more you freak out, because you then get reminded about how far shackled you are already, so you try to whip yourself back to reality. Wake up!!! Don't go there. Bad trip's about to happen.
Then we're back to the routine, putting up with the usual, just work hard and pay up, settle settle settle, don't think so much.
It really is just that.
We try to find purpose and meaning to the things we do on the daily. We get by. Find things to keep you happy. Train. Do less mundane work, or at least make it worthwhile. Enjoy. Stay out late at night just so you can chill tfo occasionally.
Similar concept, different life path.
There's a lot of things that can easily tip a person over. Stress, suicides, therapy, mental health breaks, all at an all-time high. But it's merely statistics. Soon, it's just an episode that people forget. Gotta keep keeping at it.
I know everyone has their own ways to deal with their things. All I can say is, the best solution for me is not to think about it. Don't keep reminding yourself of how shitty Singapore is and how much you have to grind all the time. Let it be. Yes, keep doing what you're doing - you're doing it well. Trust.